Day 5 12/29/2009

After a day of answering my own questions and questioning my own answers, my answers were reinforced by the client at the Fancy Free Day Habitation Program. After Lauren made the announcement that we would be doing a regular group (as opposed to a production geared group), to close the year 2009 - with representations of wishes for the new year, I was presented with a beautiful gift, and thanks for joining the group. I was given a glass vase that was painted with flowers and a hand made card signed by the clients! I was so touched that the group appreciated my presence and participation. It showed me that the group appreciated art therapy and the role of the therapist as well!

Our group went well. There were three new faces and I was able to talk to each, having an opportunity to brainstorm with a client as to what he would wish for in the new year. He informed me that he wanted to be with his family to celebrate and proceeded to ask me how to write out his wish. I prompted the client to draw his wish, and he asked how. I suggested drawing the members of his family and himself celebrating as he imagined they would. The client was was able to do this well but was still insistent on using text. He asked me how to spell 'Celebrate' and how to write '2010', and waited with is marker poised to write. I took a crayon and wrote the words/numbers - the client was able to write the words without further assistance.

Another client was needy (for lack of a better word) - but not pushy. This client was writing "Happy New Years 2010" in bubble letters. He took nearly the entire session to draw out the words in pencil, and then 2o minutes (+/-) to color the words in. The client got stumped on some letters and I assisted by drawing an example. I had to ask the client to put down his pencil and pay attention to what I was doing, and not his own drawing - because he has asked me to help him with the same letter several times, after I had showed him the example a few times already.

I can see that this client has some perfectionist qualities that are apparent in the making process. He judges his won work - often erasing in order to try again. I think this is a positive quality, but may also hinder him in the making process - I feel it would be more beneficial for the client to allow looseness and freedom to enter his work - than to restrict it with his need for perfection.
{If the client gets stuck on one aspect, the concept of the rest o the work is sacrificed - or is it that the concept won't come through for the client without adhering to his own notions of perfection? }

I am not sure if it was just because the activities had been centered around holiday themes, but it seems that the clients feed off of each other's creations - feed off is not the right term - but repeat or reproduce. The group become static in that respect. While the clients are still greatly enjoying themselves there is less individual expression - it is almost as if they already know the cue of the holidays - the media or advertisements and gravitate towards representing that universal image as opposed to a want / need / thought / or feeling from within themselves.

It will be interesting to see with this group especially how we poise that groups whether in terms of production or just group - with no holiday connection.

Art-ing About it :}

Day 4 12/28/2009

After my first experience with the Helping Hands Respite program ( which is the art therapy group with autistic children), I was wondering how Monday would go - beginning with this session instead of ending with it. I was not nervous but was preparing myself for mixed emotions once again.

The program began without a hitch. The children came into the art room with their staff and quietly sat down. Lauren, the art therapist I am working under, had based the days activity around what the kids would be doing that day - the main focus being on their going to the library for story telling. For that reason we created books in which the children could create stories though drawing.

Together we bound the books, encouraging the children t participate in the process, we guided them to punch down on the hole puncher, and to pull the ribbon through the holes to bind the book. In the two sessions we had I worked with two different boys closely. The first (Client A) had very impaired motor activity, he was also uninterested in our activity and spent most of the session looking around and slowly standing up - reaching for something else. Client A only helped in the book making process when his staff or myself actually took his hand and attempted to push down the puncher or pull the string. He drew very few drawings in the book, each were rather sparse [in terms of area covered, line weight and color variation]

The second boy I worked with (Client B) also needed to be physically guided to help with the book making process - but had more control over his motor functions than Client A had - our guidance was more of a reminder to him of what our activity was - a way of keeping his attention on the book making activity. After guiding the string through the first set of holes and having Client B pull the ribbon through, he attempted to lace the second string with my instruction regarding which side to start on, and which hole to go into. The client was able to put the string through the hole of the front cover, and attempted to lace it through the back cover, but twice disregarded the blank pages between them. In the end I laced the strings and the consumer pulled the laces.

Client B was able to create several drawings in his book, however there was a time lapse between each drawing - or even the completion of one, in which the consumer sat, and looked at the drawing, or the crayons, or what was going on around him, I prompted him to continue drawings, and after considering for some time he chose a crayon and began again. It seemed as if he applied great thought as to what color to choose.

As I looked around I watched the faces of the children and saw Concentration, and happiness. The activity brought them joy, the process was enjoyable and satisfying. The children would look to their staff or Lauren and myself, and point to their drawings with pride!

This was a very powerful and important realization for me. I have been wondering - because I have only been volunteering for 4 days and will be here no longer than a month - that I do not/will not see what progress has been made or will be made with all the clients. It has worried me and the question of whether I am doing anything to help the clients has crossed my mind. The question of whether Art Therapy is doing anything to help the clients - who will most likely never develop to the "normal" stages despite all their therapies has crossed my mind. The last question was one I could answer immediately, and the question it again. The answer came first as 'Yes of course it helps' - and the questions following were - Are you sure? How can you tell? Is it enough?

I don't have an answer - or at least a complete answer to all the questions - but seeing the pride in the faces of these children, knowing that they felt accomplished in their own way was a reinforcement of my belief that "art-ing" is self healing. It may not be enough... but it is something - and it is something strong!

And so the question mark has shrunk some, and my eyes opened more to see and learn the power of art therapy.

Art-ing about it ;)
Images 1 - 3: Series - Towards Answers

Day 3 (Session II) 12/23/2009

My first experience with Autism was with children. My only background regarding autism before today comes from what I have read in psychology textbooks, articles regarding art therapy and autism, and video case studies presented in psychology lectures.

I was warned that I would possibly see and experience things I had never before. While I think my limited background knowledge of autism, and some brief but important information that Lauren relayed to me regarding the children I would meet, did a great deal to prepare me for what I would experience on Wednesday 12/23/2009

Lauren explained that some sessions run quite smoothly, without major outbursts, and others are more chaotic, like the session we had that afternoon. We had a group of four, and for confidentiality purposes I will refer to them as Client 1, Client 2, etc. Each had a different energy and mood - and for the most part each client's individual personality affected their peer's. For example, male Client 2 affected female Client 4 adversely. Client 2 was highly energetic, and emitted and extremely loud noise, that I can describe only as falling between a Screech and a howl. He uses this sound to communicate his emotional state, and it varies in tone, volume and speed depending on whether it is happy, sad, mad confused, etc. Client 4 is a mostly non-verbal child. She communicates with a few key words combined with high-pitched sing-song gibberish. When Client 2 became agitated, and reacted in the extreme [this particular client hits himself, as well as others if they are in his range], hitting himself and screech/howling quite loudly, Client 4 became upset, and began crying, interrupted only by a high-pitch hum. Client 4 had to be removed by her one-on-one staff to avoid an outburst from her as well. Client 2 was instructed to calm down, and had to gain control of himself - this was clearly a struggle for the client. I watched, as he tried to take part n deep breathing, and tried to smile and laugh. Client 2 tried to put his hand down on the table, and tried to keep them there. This went on for about 3 minutes until he was able to regain control of himself.

Client 1 was happy to begin art therapy, and seemed to be quite accustomed to the routine. Client 3, quietly sat down and waited - very much in his own world. Client 4 required some coaxing, and constant surveillance in case her mood went sour (during our half hour session she became very emotional and tearful, but could quickly revert to a stable or jovial mood within seconds with the help of her staff. If Client 4 was given something to flip in the air, she began to laugh. Client 2 went through a handful of emotions in the short half hour, all of which were extreme. He was at first impatient to begin, reaching for materials and was having a difficult time being seated. He was very happy to begin the New Assignment.
[Lauren has begun to modify the circle assignment, creating with the clients a more 3 dimensional border, as apposed to the drawn circle she has been working with for some time. In this case we were using Styrofoam peanuts to glue around the drawn circle - followed by painting them.]

I was working closely with Client 2. Together - but mostly with me guiding his hand - we made a circular glue marker, and the client began to glue the peanuts down. We had left a gap in the circle, and it was not until he had very neatly glued all he peanuts he could, that he expressed a need for more glue. Having glued all the peanuts down he was ready to paint. I asked what color paint he would like and he requested green, which I mixed for him. Alex painted only about a quarter of the peanuts, focusing mostly on the bottom of the circle and moving up towards the left side. He painted a bit on the inside of the circle.

Once client 2 was decidedly finished, he could not be prompted to do anymore art - and once again became quite impatient. He requested/demanded to have computer time. He was told by his staff he would not be able to use the computer until 4:20 when art therapy had finished. With this the client became clearly agitated - continually asking to use the computer and screech/howling. It was at this point that Client 2 had the physical outburst that involved hitting himself repeatedly and struggling to calm himself that I have described above. Our session ended when Client 2 was able to compose himself, and smiling he said to his staff "Ready", and they left the room.

Reflecting:
Throughout the session I felt sort of numb to the condition of the children - not unfeeling - but not pitying, not shocked, not bothered. I suppose if anything I was really quite interested. Each personality and set of reactions was so different; as well as each client's way of working - speed, concentration, method and reaction to it.
I wasn't expecting this, but was also not necessarily, not expecting this..

It was not until driving home that I began experiencing any of it. My concentration was not as sharp as it should have been on the highway. I could only feel sorry that these kids were affected in this way... and may have little room for improvement .

I was unable to deal with any extra stimulus - I had to turn off the radio for half the ride. I noticed then that I was actually quite tense. My muscles were scrunched up in my neck and shoulders, and I gripped the steering wheel uncharacteristically tight. Still I was - and am unsure how to express my reaction to the session in words - It was so spread out between numbness, interest, anxiety, sympathy, and excitement. Despite all the action - the kids seemed to love what they were doing

I was hoping that I would learn more about how I was feeling though my drawings - and I did! After creating the drawings below I wrote:
I felt like a radio frequency that was picking up more than one station - between the different songs and static I couldn't tell what was on.

Art-ing about it :0

Images 1-3: Shades of Gray
Images 4-5: Untitled

Day 3 12/23/2009

Today was my second experience working with adolescents - adults who are mentally retarded. Our group took place at a different site, in Islandia NY. The group was comprised of what seems to be several different levels of development or impairments. Upon entering I detected varying levels of intensity circulating around the room. Some of the clients sat calmly together while others walked around, loudly talking to themselves; yet still some sat alone completely silent. When I entered most of the clients noticed me and took me in with their eyes - some expressed no emotion, others were open to introductions or even approached to ask my name or show me something, and some showed signs of anxiety due to my presence and avoided me.

The task, or thought to run with as the group began their creations, was centered around the themes of Christmas wishes. Being the last time we would meet with this group until christmas and the break had passed, an exception was made that group members could create work to take home and give as gifts. Normally the clients do not take home their artwork. It is kept by the art therapist Lauren, and documented. The clients were offered two choices, painting or drawing.

I had a difficult time deciphering what some o the verbal clients were saying. A female client in-particular was quite the talker, and asked many questions, most of which I could not understand. Faced with this, I once again found m teacher voice coming out - I noticed however that it was less present with another client who appears to be at a higher level of functioning and development than the rest of the consumers. A reminder that I must be more aware of my tone and body language.

I became nervous when I was interacting with a male client whose age I am unsure of but would estimate between 20 and 30 years old. I was not nervous in the sense of being in danger, but that he may go into an emotional tantrum. The client wanted to draw a bear - He showed me a picture of a bear that hung on the wall indicating he wanted to draw this particular bear. He offered the pencil to me asking me to draw it for him. Lauren who was watching, chimed in "She is not going to draw it for you. She can draw it on a separate paper but she won't draw it for you". And so I knew not to draw it for him.

I drew a rendition of the bear he pointed out - and then a second one. When the client approved the second drawing, he took it under his own paper and began to trace it. He quickly became frustrated that he was not able to produce exactly what I had drawn and asked several times for me to draw it. I repeated several times that I would not draw it for him, offered him encouragement as a mean of confidence boosters and motivator. However this lead him to becoming increasingly frustrated - tearing up and looking imploringly at me. Once again I repeated that I would not draw it for him and that I thought he was doing a great job and could continue to do so.

The client did continue to draw the bear, but grudgingly. He was growling (for lack of a better word) under his breath while doing it. When he was unhappy with his drawing he nearly began to cry. With more nudging he continued - and his finished product, a superman bear, was very successful! Lauren explained that the client love superman and the motif appears in many of his drawings.

When the client was first trying to communicate his choice of subject to draw, he was communicating verbally, but coupled it with physical indicators or signs. He began by flicking his ears and following it by point towards the area where the bear hung. Seeing that I did not understand he beckoned me to follow and pointed out the picture. When he had finished his drawing of the bear, he asked for a new sheet of paper. I asked what he would draw and he responded by making a motion with both hands as if he were draping something around his neck. I was able to make out the words "for my mom" and asked if he wanted to make a necklace for his moth - he said yes. and handed me the pencil. With a crayon on a separate sheet of paper I drew a 'pearl necklace', and handed it to the client to trace. He glanced at it and put it down. he began to draw, without my drawing. I was surprised to see the he drew a heart. I later found out that his physical signal was one that was recognized by lauren and other staff members as meaning Heart. A reminder that time will aide in the communication between therapist and consumer.

The session in Islandia had an overall learning experience feeling to it. I felt positive, and calm - communicating unabashedly - I did not feel timid or held back. I will hope to work on communicating, allowing myself to repeat, and ask the same question several time to develop a means of uncovering what the client is trying to express verbally

Day 2 12/22/2009

The holiday interrupted my first week interning with art therapists Ed Regensburg and Lauren Fabrizio at Family Residences and Essential Enterprises (FREE). We ended our week on Wednesday December 23rd, and I had a total of three group art therapy sessions under my belt.

The first took place in Farmingdale NY [on 12/22/2009], at a unique store called Fancy Free. In truth describing Fancy Free simply as a store is doing it an injustice - while there is a lovely store front that sells hand made crafts and accessories, there is also a classroom area in the back as well as a kitchen and office area. In the classroom area is where I met with my first art therapy group. Fancy Free functions as a boutique, on a main strip in Farmingdale, yet it is not a typical boutique; the proceeds of the merchandise, as well as art work created by the mentally retarded adults who attend the art therapy group, go to FREE, to support its programs, including art therapy, and its clients (or consumers). There has been a great deal of success in terms of selling the work created by the art therapy clients, in fact 14 of 17 paintings/drawings were purchased, as well as the majority of the hand painted wine glasses and votive candles.

For sometime before my arrival, Ed and Lauren (Ed attends the sessions at fancy free) have had the clients painting wine glasses and votive candles for the purpose of production - while this may not seem like a therapeutic session, it does in fact serve as an exercise that gears the consumers to build self worth in a progressive manner, as well as life skills. The group members have been painting holiday orient themes as of late. These include Christmas, Hanukkah, and most recently the new year. In this session we pushed the clients to begin producing for the next holiday, Valentines Day.

I was amazed to see just how high functioning the group was (having been told they were "high functioning" prior to meeting). I have personal experience with mental retardation, and I believe I generalized the diagnosis of MRDD based on my singular knowledge of it. --> Lesson #1: There are varying levels of mental retardation - not one person classified as MRDD is the same. Lesson # 2: Not one person in each classified level ("High Functioning" "Intermediate" or "Low Functioning") is the same or will behave the same.

I was somewhat nervous when I the group first began to filter in. Lauren introduced me to some of the clients individually as they came to say hello, and they hesitantly replied, all the while looking me over with the question I can only assume - 'Can I trust her?'. Yet as we began the group, and after a brief introduction by Lauren my presence as a new person nearly disappeared. All clients, with only one exception - an elderly woman whom I had observed sitting idle for some time - were open to, even eager to have my help and opinion. I approached the idle woman and asked if she needed material. She responded quietly, "I think I am Okay.". I prompted her again, and this time she stated that she would wait for Lauren or Ed. Not wanting to push anything on her I said that was alright and continued on my way around the room.

I was so glad to see how happy everyone was in their creative process. Each consumer was wiling to show her sketches, and hoping for feedback - and once feedback was given they ungrudgingly made suggested changes.

The end of the session gave me a small insight into how quickly the atmosphere can change. When Lauren and Ed attempted to sum up the session by using two clients' pieces as examples of "production like work" to strive for, an argument as to whose were the best broke out between two clients. Lauren and Ed allowed it to go on for a short moment - as the argument was a misunderstanding - and 1 sided. The second party was trying to explain the differences in the pieces. In pointing these differences, out she meant to compliment her fellow client, who inadvertently took it as a negative comment. The consumer was unabel to communicate her thoughts which lead to an argument, and therefor Ed and Lauren stepped in, ending the session by asking each group member to strive to create work that was on that level.

I thanked the group members for allowing me to help out and for trusting me enough to be there.

Reflections:
I believe that when I began I may have been using my teacher, or little kid voice (speaking as if I was speaking to a child or student). This is something I noticed and reprimanded myself for. I do not want to treat any of the clients any different (in terms of tone and demeanor etc) than you or me. I am not sure if it went unnoticed by the clients but it will be something I keep an eye on throughout as I believe it may be a pesky tendency of mine.

I must have noticed it through my observation of both Ed and Lauren who spoke with the clients much like they would speak to me or others. That is very important I think, in terms of forming a solid connection and tapping into a therapeutic notch.

I was truly happy - I felt great fulfillment and am eager to meet with this group next week.


Please check out this article that give a brief explanation of Fancy Free
http://www.newsday.com/business/nonprofit-opens-farmingdale-store-to-train-disabled-1.1233809



Art-ing about it :)

Art Therapy Internship | Day 1

My anxieties about traffic and first day introductions melted away when I met Ed in the lobby. His warm but down to business nature was all I needed to recharge my confidence and get excited for the day's programs. I handled the paper work needed to clear me for the volunteer position, and then went to meet Lauren Fabrizio, the art therapist I will be shadowing for the next month.

I was of course nervous to meet her but we quickly began to talk about what i could expect in each program. Lauren showed me some of the work done by the children with autism. This included some handmade books - The Book of Circles - which was a compilation of circle drawing from an extended period. They were binded so that as she flipped through the pages, the most recent were the first to be seen. As she flipped through the pages, a clear progression was visible, when comparing the most recent drawing to the later ones in the back of the book. Lauren explained to me that the 'draw a circle' exercise was an effort of the art therapists to bring some order and filter out the chaos - In this way there was most definitely a delineation between the before and after.

The activity was set up in this way:
Each child received a piece of paper with a pre drawn circle of the same diameter. They were then asked to draw within it (echoing it in a sense).

The earliest drawings were scribbles of varying weights and colors, that essentially disregarded the presence of the circle. The later drawings showed a more concentrated focus by the child to contain the drawing within the circle.

Having reached this point with the children, Lauren showed me the more recent endeavor she was using to promote this idea of filtering and bringing order by way of the idea of containment. Spread across the table were sheets with rolled tissue paper following the outline of that old circle. Some of the pieces had 3d borders, the others were more flattened out. Inside the circles were scribble drawings - that were much more minimal than all the drawings in the 'book of scribbles'. There was one child who actually used the tissue paper to decorate the inside of her circle, bringing to mind mandalas and reminding me to read up on the concepts behind them.

Ed and Lauren have been working towards their second Art Therapy Gallery Show, with a theme of containment. The circle drawings are perfect pieces to include in the show.

The two programs for the day were unfortunately canceled due to the two day old snow fall. Lauren was not informed about the cancelation of the 12:30 Day Habilitation program and so we took the trip out to Islandia, only to find there were no consumers, or clients. Our trip however was rather beneficial, at least for me I had the opportunity to interact with Lauren further which helped to familiarize and create a more comfortable atmosphere between us. I also had the opportunity to pick her brain about Graduate School. Lauren recently graduated from the School of Visual Arts (SVA) in New york City. I have been formulating plans for my future studies in art therapy, and was quite taken by the program and areas of concentration offered by SVA's art therapy degree program. Lauren was an advocate of the school and program. She mentioned how she felt she drew real experience out of her internship opportunities - due to their duration. The program requires two, year long internship. She also mentioned that they were quite on top of things, and good at keeping tabs on your progress - this is very appealing to me. In regards to school of thought Lauren feels SVA falls right in the middle of purely expressional and purely clinical - combing each at the right level for a well rounded experience. This is also appealing to me because I am very interested in the science behind the profession, as well as the spirituality and expressional nature of the practice.

Back at the warehouse Ed gave me a binder that he and Lauren have been working on - It should eventually consist of their mission statement, protocol for practitioners at different levels (volunteer, intern, professional with 2 years experience, professional with 5+ years experience, etc...), and patient profiles. The patient profiles included, were currently only for the children with autism. These gave me such an insight into the many layers and differences that I will encounter when I begin working with these children - each child has certain likes and dislikes, and various triggers that cause tantrums or panics - and each reacts in this sense, in a different way.

The cancellation for the programs were not a ba thing in the end. I was able to have a slower introductory experience, giving me a chance to become more comfortable with my two supervisors. I am feeling very fortunate to have such wonderful resources and this amazing opportunity!

Bellow is an artwork I created in response to my days experience. Each subsequent blog regarding the internship will be accompanied with one or more artworks. Creating a visual record of my experience is an additional aid during my advisement period with Ed, as well as to help me process my emotions while understanding them better myself!

Internship

Tonight I am preparing myself for the first day of an exciting internship! I will be shadowing an Art Therapist named Lauren Fabrizio, who is working at Family Residences and Essential Enterprises (FREE) under the Director of Art Therapy, Ed Regensuburg. I was able to secure this opportunity though old fashioned communication - I took a look at the New York Art Therapy Association website (http://nyarttherapy.org/) and basically wrote to all the practicing art therapists from Albany to Long Island [after taking a look at their website and statements of course]. I received a call from Ed Regensburg very shortly after his receipt of the message, and he offered me this wonderful opportunity to shadow an art therapist and conference with him to discuss questions, reactions and feelings regarding my entire experience. Additionally, in each of our meetings we will go over a piece of expressive art that I have created in response to my experience.

The internship will be based in Long Island, and I will be traveling from Westchester, NY, each day to be there. Lauren Fabrizio is a recent graduate of the School of Visual Arts in New York City. This is very appealing to me because I have been looking into their addictionology program in art therapy, and will now have someone to talk to about this!

The internship will last from December 20th 2009 to January 20th 2010. In this time I will be working with three different populations. These include autistic children, mentally challenged adults, and developmentally disabled adults.

It will be very refreshing for me to finally immerse myself in the field that I truly want to pursue. I love art, I love making, but I want to do with it, what it has done for me - to help!


I will be blogging on a near to daily basis to provide an updated account of the development of this amazing internship!