Our session with the Fancy Free group (which consists of mentally impaired/disabled adults, was similar to the last couple of sessions with he Islandia based groups, involving portfolio reviews. The clients were excited to review their work, as well as the work of their peers, but were anxious to create art work 0 a good sign - but a reminder, or nag at my recent questions regarding the discussion of the art work as a therapeutic aspect of the process.
The clients were all positive in terms of the discussion of the art works. Once again it was immensely fulfilling to witness the sense of accomplishment even the surprise at their own artistic success. On the flip side, the group did have an increasingly difficult time focusing - some members went off in their own conversations that were unrelated to the review of art work. I wonder if there would be more to discuss and read into if the at work was reviewed one on one with the therapist and client - although it would be extremely difficult in our particular sessions...
I imagine that creating a greater notion of self worth in the clients [something that I think is a particular goal with our fancy free group] is part of the goal in our art therapy sessions. In this regard I think the portfolio review was very successful. It serves as a major reinforcer to the weekly steps towards building confidence and self worth in the clients lives and minds and spirits. Each client was taken aback by the amount of work they had created individually, as well as by the success of each piece.
The energy in the room was slightly heightened by the emmittance of a a less than positive vibe. It was brought forth in a client that has recently lost her mother. The client became very emotional - with seemingly no trigger at all. Several minutes after responding to the question of where she had gotten a bottled water (asked by her staff), the client shouted "I'm sorry I was a bad girl! I'm sorry I was a bad girl!". She began grinding her teeth loudly and rubbing her hands together anxiously.
The outburst took a toll on the group (everyone came to a pause with our attention on this particular clients). The staff members were able to calm her down shortly after, but the client was sensitive [and insensitive to others] for the remainder of our session. The client interrupted others or deflected conversations and praise of her peer's to herself. The client continually mentioned the loss of her mother, and it was my instinctive reaction to discuss it with her. However it had been decided by her behavioral staff that she was only supposed to speak about her loss in a structured one-on-one environment because of her behavioral and emotional threshold. Lauren was able to redirect this behavior by focusing her attention into the artwork and process.
Reflections and questions:
So far I have not seen this client express the emotion connected to the loss of her mother in her art. I would like to gear her in that direction... but am not sure how... would she understand if I told her to draw how she felt?
- Are my expectations of 'drawing how you feel' hindering me from seeing that she may be doing this in her own way?
- How can you gear a clients to make expressive art V.S. drawing/craft?
- Is all art not expressive on at least some level?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Day 7 | 1/4/2010
Lauren and I met with our afternoon group at the Islandia Day Habilitation center, which is larger than the morning group. We continued with the portfolio review. We had the majority of the overall group members with us, as well as the crowded environment of extras, on-seers, and drifters. There were also members with less commitment, as they had already had the experience of reviewing, and their work was not included in this session.
While there was still no discussion regarding the meaning or feelings involved - It was rewarding to see the accomplished looks on each of the clients faces as the array of art work was laid before them. There were very brief discussion regarding the progress of the technical development - the progression from very simple to more complex, involving the combination of elements that had been repeated almost obsessively, but always separately in the initial stages. Taking a detailed notice of this progression, in this population especially, shows a mental development or advancement! This is verified by the science of child development, and the meaning of children's art at certain developmental stages. - I will be spending as much personal time studying these phenomenon's as possible as they are imperative to knowing about your client and their developmental stage.
Many of the questions from my last entry are still zig - zaging through my mind, with the addition of new ones:
- If we are able to push the clients to talk about emotions behind or derived from the work - will it be too much for these particular clients to experience consciously - in terms of their emotional and behavioral states?
- Is our role [for these particular populations/clients] as art therapist simply to allow the expression via art - to help cushion the emotional response or to protect the clients in a sense from the emotional overload that may occur through other forms of expression/therapy?
With the new year, our schedule has returned to a normal schedule of programs, uninterrupted by holidays. We had our regularly scheduled second group of the day which is the after school Helping Hands respite program for children with autism.
A new element was introduced to the children in the program, and followed by the more well known activity - the use of the circle as a possible containing force. The new element was the introduction of a human figure, rendered in dashed lines. It was expect that the children would react to the human figure with a more chaotic artist response - allowing their drawings to overcome the outline of the figure - or disregard it completely. It was expected that the circle would serve as a familiar activity - more calming and allowing for a greater level of concentration --> which would allow the children to continue with the geared task of containing their drawings within the circle - as Lauren has been working towards with the kids for at least a month.
The session itself had high energy. A client who was new to me was an extreme handful - on the move - obsessively searching for magazines [with perceived] potential for a violent outburst. The client's energy was apparent in the room and I feel that it intensified the energy of some of the others - That is not to say that some of the other clients do not have naturally intense energies already.
Our session did not run its full course. Often, the clients are able to do two drawings [more or less] - and are then at a stand still - they either do not want to draw anymore or are distracted by other simulations or are disengaged. It is extremely difficult to prompt each clients to continue or give further instructions when the session is in full swing.
It seemed that Lauren's assumption that the circle would be less chaotic was correct - but non of the circles actually contained the markings. The whole session felt chaotic - rather uncontained if I can use our own metaphors.
The session with the autistic children is very taxing when you have the chance to process everything that has been said, shouted, drawn and done. When I put real afterthought into the experience, there is much more than a loud nonsensical high energy... and that is what is so hard to figure out and carry with you.
Art-ing about it :?
While there was still no discussion regarding the meaning or feelings involved - It was rewarding to see the accomplished looks on each of the clients faces as the array of art work was laid before them. There were very brief discussion regarding the progress of the technical development - the progression from very simple to more complex, involving the combination of elements that had been repeated almost obsessively, but always separately in the initial stages. Taking a detailed notice of this progression, in this population especially, shows a mental development or advancement! This is verified by the science of child development, and the meaning of children's art at certain developmental stages. - I will be spending as much personal time studying these phenomenon's as possible as they are imperative to knowing about your client and their developmental stage.
Many of the questions from my last entry are still zig - zaging through my mind, with the addition of new ones:
- If we are able to push the clients to talk about emotions behind or derived from the work - will it be too much for these particular clients to experience consciously - in terms of their emotional and behavioral states?
- Is our role [for these particular populations/clients] as art therapist simply to allow the expression via art - to help cushion the emotional response or to protect the clients in a sense from the emotional overload that may occur through other forms of expression/therapy?
With the new year, our schedule has returned to a normal schedule of programs, uninterrupted by holidays. We had our regularly scheduled second group of the day which is the after school Helping Hands respite program for children with autism.
A new element was introduced to the children in the program, and followed by the more well known activity - the use of the circle as a possible containing force. The new element was the introduction of a human figure, rendered in dashed lines. It was expect that the children would react to the human figure with a more chaotic artist response - allowing their drawings to overcome the outline of the figure - or disregard it completely. It was expected that the circle would serve as a familiar activity - more calming and allowing for a greater level of concentration --> which would allow the children to continue with the geared task of containing their drawings within the circle - as Lauren has been working towards with the kids for at least a month.
The session itself had high energy. A client who was new to me was an extreme handful - on the move - obsessively searching for magazines [with perceived] potential for a violent outburst. The client's energy was apparent in the room and I feel that it intensified the energy of some of the others - That is not to say that some of the other clients do not have naturally intense energies already.
Our session did not run its full course. Often, the clients are able to do two drawings [more or less] - and are then at a stand still - they either do not want to draw anymore or are distracted by other simulations or are disengaged. It is extremely difficult to prompt each clients to continue or give further instructions when the session is in full swing.
It seemed that Lauren's assumption that the circle would be less chaotic was correct - but non of the circles actually contained the markings. The whole session felt chaotic - rather uncontained if I can use our own metaphors.
The session with the autistic children is very taxing when you have the chance to process everything that has been said, shouted, drawn and done. When I put real afterthought into the experience, there is much more than a loud nonsensical high energy... and that is what is so hard to figure out and carry with you.
Art-ing about it :?
Day 6 | 12/30/2009
This morning, the atmosphere at the Islandia based site, where we run our art therapy group with mentally impaired or disabled adults, was much more low key than our regular 12:30 sessions have been. Our group was no more than five clients and the room was more or less empty except for the art therapy group. The clients that were involved were much more engaged and focused - I sensed a higher level of relaxation - I also felt more relaxed. The lack of background noise and distractions seemed highly beneficial to the progress and participation of the group members in the art therapy session. The afternoon group, which is larger would really benefit from a private space where only art therapy was going on!
We spent our session closing the door on 2009, by celebrating the work that the clients had created in art therapy during their time with the art therapist, Lauren Fabrizio. We reviewed work that took place over a time span of approximately 4 months. Many of the clients had a great deal of work, and found it very exciting to display and review their work.
The clients were able to point to their favorite piece(s) and decide what processes they enjoyed working with the most. Sometimes, and mostly regarding figurative art, the clients chose favorite pieces and remembered what the theme/assignment was. There as however, no discussion as to how a certain artwork made each client feel - what emotions it derived or what thoughts the artist was projecting consciously/unconsciously. This makes me wonder if the clients themselves are aware of the weight of their artistic expression> Do they realize even that they are expressing an emotion, or telling us something about themselves through their art work? Then I get to thinking - does that matter? Is it important that they gain something through the art making process - BUT cant they can they gain something [other than confidence, self worth, purpose and developed technique] without discussion - without that recognition?
Further reflections and questions:
How can we get the clients (both mentally impaired and autistic - each having an extremely difficult time verbally expressing their wants, needs and feelings) to verbally discuss the meaning... that they may not see themselves... of their art?
- Should we expect the to verbalize the feeling projected through their art work?
- Do we need them to verbalize the feeling projected through their art work?
- How different are the answers to theses questions across different populations (ie more developed or verbal populations)
- Should the discussion of a client's art work and emotional status take place within the group - allowing other clients to comment on meanings, as well as the therapist or should the therapist and specific client discuss the meaning of the work privately?
In the end - does it do the client any good if the therapist is able to read into the artwork - but the client is not mentally capable of discussing it?
Phhheeewww - my mind is buzzing!
Art-ing about it :)
We spent our session closing the door on 2009, by celebrating the work that the clients had created in art therapy during their time with the art therapist, Lauren Fabrizio. We reviewed work that took place over a time span of approximately 4 months. Many of the clients had a great deal of work, and found it very exciting to display and review their work.
The clients were able to point to their favorite piece(s) and decide what processes they enjoyed working with the most. Sometimes, and mostly regarding figurative art, the clients chose favorite pieces and remembered what the theme/assignment was. There as however, no discussion as to how a certain artwork made each client feel - what emotions it derived or what thoughts the artist was projecting consciously/unconsciously. This makes me wonder if the clients themselves are aware of the weight of their artistic expression> Do they realize even that they are expressing an emotion, or telling us something about themselves through their art work? Then I get to thinking - does that matter? Is it important that they gain something through the art making process - BUT cant they can they gain something [other than confidence, self worth, purpose and developed technique] without discussion - without that recognition?
Further reflections and questions:
How can we get the clients (both mentally impaired and autistic - each having an extremely difficult time verbally expressing their wants, needs and feelings) to verbally discuss the meaning... that they may not see themselves... of their art?
- Should we expect the to verbalize the feeling projected through their art work?
- Do we need them to verbalize the feeling projected through their art work?
- How different are the answers to theses questions across different populations (ie more developed or verbal populations)
- Should the discussion of a client's art work and emotional status take place within the group - allowing other clients to comment on meanings, as well as the therapist or should the therapist and specific client discuss the meaning of the work privately?
In the end - does it do the client any good if the therapist is able to read into the artwork - but the client is not mentally capable of discussing it?
Phhheeewww - my mind is buzzing!
Art-ing about it :)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Day 5 12/29/2009
After a day of answering my own questions and questioning my own answers, my answers were reinforced by the client at the Fancy Free Day Habitation Program. After Lauren made the announcement that we would be doing a regular group (as opposed to a production geared group), to close the year 2009 - with representations of wishes for the new year, I was presented with a beautiful gift, and thanks for joining the group. I was given a glass vase that was painted with flowers and a hand made card signed by the clients! I was so touched that the group appreciated my presence and participation. It showed me that the group appreciated art therapy and the role of the therapist as well!
Our group went well. There were three new faces and I was able to talk to each, having an opportunity to brainstorm with a client as to what he would wish for in the new year. He informed me that he wanted to be with his family to celebrate and proceeded to ask me how to write out his wish. I prompted the client to draw his wish, and he asked how. I suggested drawing the members of his family and himself celebrating as he imagined they would. The client was was able to do this well but was still insistent on using text. He asked me how to spell 'Celebrate' and how to write '2010', and waited with is marker poised to write. I took a crayon and wrote the words/numbers - the client was able to write the words without further assistance.
Another client was needy (for lack of a better word) - but not pushy. This client was writing "Happy New Years 2010" in bubble letters. He took nearly the entire session to draw out the words in pencil, and then 2o minutes (+/-) to color the words in. The client got stumped on some letters and I assisted by drawing an example. I had to ask the client to put down his pencil and pay attention to what I was doing, and not his own drawing - because he has asked me to help him with the same letter several times, after I had showed him the example a few times already.
I can see that this client has some perfectionist qualities that are apparent in the making process. He judges his won work - often erasing in order to try again. I think this is a positive quality, but may also hinder him in the making process - I feel it would be more beneficial for the client to allow looseness and freedom to enter his work - than to restrict it with his need for perfection.
{If the client gets stuck on one aspect, the concept of the rest o the work is sacrificed - or is it that the concept won't come through for the client without adhering to his own notions of perfection? }
I am not sure if it was just because the activities had been centered around holiday themes, but it seems that the clients feed off of each other's creations - feed off is not the right term - but repeat or reproduce. The group become static in that respect. While the clients are still greatly enjoying themselves there is less individual expression - it is almost as if they already know the cue of the holidays - the media or advertisements and gravitate towards representing that universal image as opposed to a want / need / thought / or feeling from within themselves.
It will be interesting to see with this group especially how we poise that groups whether in terms of production or just group - with no holiday connection.
Art-ing About it :}
Our group went well. There were three new faces and I was able to talk to each, having an opportunity to brainstorm with a client as to what he would wish for in the new year. He informed me that he wanted to be with his family to celebrate and proceeded to ask me how to write out his wish. I prompted the client to draw his wish, and he asked how. I suggested drawing the members of his family and himself celebrating as he imagined they would. The client was was able to do this well but was still insistent on using text. He asked me how to spell 'Celebrate' and how to write '2010', and waited with is marker poised to write. I took a crayon and wrote the words/numbers - the client was able to write the words without further assistance.
Another client was needy (for lack of a better word) - but not pushy. This client was writing "Happy New Years 2010" in bubble letters. He took nearly the entire session to draw out the words in pencil, and then 2o minutes (+/-) to color the words in. The client got stumped on some letters and I assisted by drawing an example. I had to ask the client to put down his pencil and pay attention to what I was doing, and not his own drawing - because he has asked me to help him with the same letter several times, after I had showed him the example a few times already.
I can see that this client has some perfectionist qualities that are apparent in the making process. He judges his won work - often erasing in order to try again. I think this is a positive quality, but may also hinder him in the making process - I feel it would be more beneficial for the client to allow looseness and freedom to enter his work - than to restrict it with his need for perfection.
{If the client gets stuck on one aspect, the concept of the rest o the work is sacrificed - or is it that the concept won't come through for the client without adhering to his own notions of perfection? }
I am not sure if it was just because the activities had been centered around holiday themes, but it seems that the clients feed off of each other's creations - feed off is not the right term - but repeat or reproduce. The group become static in that respect. While the clients are still greatly enjoying themselves there is less individual expression - it is almost as if they already know the cue of the holidays - the media or advertisements and gravitate towards representing that universal image as opposed to a want / need / thought / or feeling from within themselves.
It will be interesting to see with this group especially how we poise that groups whether in terms of production or just group - with no holiday connection.
Art-ing About it :}
Day 4 12/28/2009
After my first experience with the Helping Hands Respite program ( which is the art therapy group with autistic children), I was wondering how Monday would go - beginning with this session instead of ending with it. I was not nervous but was preparing myself for mixed emotions once again.
The program began without a hitch. The children came into the art room with their staff and quietly sat down. Lauren, the art therapist I am working under, had based the days activity around what the kids would be doing that day - the main focus being on their going to the library for story telling. For that reason we created books in which the children could create stories though drawing.
Together we bound the books, encouraging the children t participate in the process, we guided them to punch down on the hole puncher, and to pull the ribbon through the holes to bind the book. In the two sessions we had I worked with two different boys closely. The first (Client A) had very impaired motor activity, he was also uninterested in our activity and spent most of the session looking around and slowly standing up - reaching for something else. Client A only helped in the book making process when his staff or myself actually took his hand and attempted to push down the puncher or pull the string. He drew very few drawings in the book, each were rather sparse [in terms of area covered, line weight and color variation]
The second boy I worked with (Client B) also needed to be physically guided to help with the book making process - but had more control over his motor functions than Client A had - our guidance was more of a reminder to him of what our activity was - a way of keeping his attention on the book making activity. After guiding the string through the first set of holes and having Client B pull the ribbon through, he attempted to lace the second string with my instruction regarding which side to start on, and which hole to go into. The client was able to put the string through the hole of the front cover, and attempted to lace it through the back cover, but twice disregarded the blank pages between them. In the end I laced the strings and the consumer pulled the laces.
Client B was able to create several drawings in his book, however there was a time lapse between each drawing - or even the completion of one, in which the consumer sat, and looked at the drawing, or the crayons, or what was going on around him, I prompted him to continue drawings, and after considering for some time he chose a crayon and began again. It seemed as if he applied great thought as to what color to choose.
As I looked around I watched the faces of the children and saw Concentration, and happiness. The activity brought them joy, the process was enjoyable and satisfying. The children would look to their staff or Lauren and myself, and point to their drawings with pride!
This was a very powerful and important realization for me. I have been wondering - because I have only been volunteering for 4 days and will be here no longer than a month - that I do not/will not see what progress has been made or will be made with all the clients. It has worried me and the question of whether I am doing anything to help the clients has crossed my mind. The question of whether Art Therapy is doing anything to help the clients - who will most likely never develop to the "normal" stages despite all their therapies has crossed my mind. The last question was one I could answer immediately, and the question it again. The answer came first as 'Yes of course it helps' - and the questions following were - Are you sure? How can you tell? Is it enough?
I don't have an answer - or at least a complete answer to all the questions - but seeing the pride in the faces of these children, knowing that they felt accomplished in their own way was a reinforcement of my belief that "art-ing" is self healing. It may not be enough... but it is something - and it is something strong!
And so the question mark has shrunk some, and my eyes opened more to see and learn the power of art therapy.
Art-ing about it ;)
Images 1 - 3: Series - Towards Answers
The program began without a hitch. The children came into the art room with their staff and quietly sat down. Lauren, the art therapist I am working under, had based the days activity around what the kids would be doing that day - the main focus being on their going to the library for story telling. For that reason we created books in which the children could create stories though drawing.
Together we bound the books, encouraging the children t participate in the process, we guided them to punch down on the hole puncher, and to pull the ribbon through the holes to bind the book. In the two sessions we had I worked with two different boys closely. The first (Client A) had very impaired motor activity, he was also uninterested in our activity and spent most of the session looking around and slowly standing up - reaching for something else. Client A only helped in the book making process when his staff or myself actually took his hand and attempted to push down the puncher or pull the string. He drew very few drawings in the book, each were rather sparse [in terms of area covered, line weight and color variation]
The second boy I worked with (Client B) also needed to be physically guided to help with the book making process - but had more control over his motor functions than Client A had - our guidance was more of a reminder to him of what our activity was - a way of keeping his attention on the book making activity. After guiding the string through the first set of holes and having Client B pull the ribbon through, he attempted to lace the second string with my instruction regarding which side to start on, and which hole to go into. The client was able to put the string through the hole of the front cover, and attempted to lace it through the back cover, but twice disregarded the blank pages between them. In the end I laced the strings and the consumer pulled the laces.
Client B was able to create several drawings in his book, however there was a time lapse between each drawing - or even the completion of one, in which the consumer sat, and looked at the drawing, or the crayons, or what was going on around him, I prompted him to continue drawings, and after considering for some time he chose a crayon and began again. It seemed as if he applied great thought as to what color to choose.
As I looked around I watched the faces of the children and saw Concentration, and happiness. The activity brought them joy, the process was enjoyable and satisfying. The children would look to their staff or Lauren and myself, and point to their drawings with pride!
This was a very powerful and important realization for me. I have been wondering - because I have only been volunteering for 4 days and will be here no longer than a month - that I do not/will not see what progress has been made or will be made with all the clients. It has worried me and the question of whether I am doing anything to help the clients has crossed my mind. The question of whether Art Therapy is doing anything to help the clients - who will most likely never develop to the "normal" stages despite all their therapies has crossed my mind. The last question was one I could answer immediately, and the question it again. The answer came first as 'Yes of course it helps' - and the questions following were - Are you sure? How can you tell? Is it enough?
I don't have an answer - or at least a complete answer to all the questions - but seeing the pride in the faces of these children, knowing that they felt accomplished in their own way was a reinforcement of my belief that "art-ing" is self healing. It may not be enough... but it is something - and it is something strong!
And so the question mark has shrunk some, and my eyes opened more to see and learn the power of art therapy.
Art-ing about it ;)
Images 1 - 3: Series - Towards Answers
Day 3 (Session II) 12/23/2009
My first experience with Autism was with children. My only background regarding autism before today comes from what I have read in psychology textbooks, articles regarding art therapy and autism, and video case studies presented in psychology lectures.
I was warned that I would possibly see and experience things I had never before. While I think my limited background knowledge of autism, and some brief but important information that Lauren relayed to me regarding the children I would meet, did a great deal to prepare me for what I would experience on Wednesday 12/23/2009
Lauren explained that some sessions run quite smoothly, without major outbursts, and others are more chaotic, like the session we had that afternoon. We had a group of four, and for confidentiality purposes I will refer to them as Client 1, Client 2, etc. Each had a different energy and mood - and for the most part each client's individual personality affected their peer's. For example, male Client 2 affected female Client 4 adversely. Client 2 was highly energetic, and emitted and extremely loud noise, that I can describe only as falling between a Screech and a howl. He uses this sound to communicate his emotional state, and it varies in tone, volume and speed depending on whether it is happy, sad, mad confused, etc. Client 4 is a mostly non-verbal child. She communicates with a few key words combined with high-pitched sing-song gibberish. When Client 2 became agitated, and reacted in the extreme [this particular client hits himself, as well as others if they are in his range], hitting himself and screech/howling quite loudly, Client 4 became upset, and began crying, interrupted only by a high-pitch hum. Client 4 had to be removed by her one-on-one staff to avoid an outburst from her as well. Client 2 was instructed to calm down, and had to gain control of himself - this was clearly a struggle for the client. I watched, as he tried to take part n deep breathing, and tried to smile and laugh. Client 2 tried to put his hand down on the table, and tried to keep them there. This went on for about 3 minutes until he was able to regain control of himself.
Client 1 was happy to begin art therapy, and seemed to be quite accustomed to the routine. Client 3, quietly sat down and waited - very much in his own world. Client 4 required some coaxing, and constant surveillance in case her mood went sour (during our half hour session she became very emotional and tearful, but could quickly revert to a stable or jovial mood within seconds with the help of her staff. If Client 4 was given something to flip in the air, she began to laugh. Client 2 went through a handful of emotions in the short half hour, all of which were extreme. He was at first impatient to begin, reaching for materials and was having a difficult time being seated. He was very happy to begin the New Assignment.
[Lauren has begun to modify the circle assignment, creating with the clients a more 3 dimensional border, as apposed to the drawn circle she has been working with for some time. In this case we were using Styrofoam peanuts to glue around the drawn circle - followed by painting them.]
I was working closely with Client 2. Together - but mostly with me guiding his hand - we made a circular glue marker, and the client began to glue the peanuts down. We had left a gap in the circle, and it was not until he had very neatly glued all he peanuts he could, that he expressed a need for more glue. Having glued all the peanuts down he was ready to paint. I asked what color paint he would like and he requested green, which I mixed for him. Alex painted only about a quarter of the peanuts, focusing mostly on the bottom of the circle and moving up towards the left side. He painted a bit on the inside of the circle.
Once client 2 was decidedly finished, he could not be prompted to do anymore art - and once again became quite impatient. He requested/demanded to have computer time. He was told by his staff he would not be able to use the computer until 4:20 when art therapy had finished. With this the client became clearly agitated - continually asking to use the computer and screech/howling. It was at this point that Client 2 had the physical outburst that involved hitting himself repeatedly and struggling to calm himself that I have described above. Our session ended when Client 2 was able to compose himself, and smiling he said to his staff "Ready", and they left the room.
Reflecting:
Throughout the session I felt sort of numb to the condition of the children - not unfeeling - but not pitying, not shocked, not bothered. I suppose if anything I was really quite interested. Each personality and set of reactions was so different; as well as each client's way of working - speed, concentration, method and reaction to it.
I wasn't expecting this, but was also not necessarily, not expecting this..
It was not until driving home that I began experiencing any of it. My concentration was not as sharp as it should have been on the highway. I could only feel sorry that these kids were affected in this way... and may have little room for improvement .
I was unable to deal with any extra stimulus - I had to turn off the radio for half the ride. I noticed then that I was actually quite tense. My muscles were scrunched up in my neck and shoulders, and I gripped the steering wheel uncharacteristically tight. Still I was - and am unsure how to express my reaction to the session in words - It was so spread out between numbness, interest, anxiety, sympathy, and excitement. Despite all the action - the kids seemed to love what they were doing
I was hoping that I would learn more about how I was feeling though my drawings - and I did! After creating the drawings below I wrote:
I felt like a radio frequency that was picking up more than one station - between the different songs and static I couldn't tell what was on.
Art-ing about it :0
Images 1-3: Shades of Gray
Images 4-5: Untitled
I was warned that I would possibly see and experience things I had never before. While I think my limited background knowledge of autism, and some brief but important information that Lauren relayed to me regarding the children I would meet, did a great deal to prepare me for what I would experience on Wednesday 12/23/2009
Lauren explained that some sessions run quite smoothly, without major outbursts, and others are more chaotic, like the session we had that afternoon. We had a group of four, and for confidentiality purposes I will refer to them as Client 1, Client 2, etc. Each had a different energy and mood - and for the most part each client's individual personality affected their peer's. For example, male Client 2 affected female Client 4 adversely. Client 2 was highly energetic, and emitted and extremely loud noise, that I can describe only as falling between a Screech and a howl. He uses this sound to communicate his emotional state, and it varies in tone, volume and speed depending on whether it is happy, sad, mad confused, etc. Client 4 is a mostly non-verbal child. She communicates with a few key words combined with high-pitched sing-song gibberish. When Client 2 became agitated, and reacted in the extreme [this particular client hits himself, as well as others if they are in his range], hitting himself and screech/howling quite loudly, Client 4 became upset, and began crying, interrupted only by a high-pitch hum. Client 4 had to be removed by her one-on-one staff to avoid an outburst from her as well. Client 2 was instructed to calm down, and had to gain control of himself - this was clearly a struggle for the client. I watched, as he tried to take part n deep breathing, and tried to smile and laugh. Client 2 tried to put his hand down on the table, and tried to keep them there. This went on for about 3 minutes until he was able to regain control of himself.
Client 1 was happy to begin art therapy, and seemed to be quite accustomed to the routine. Client 3, quietly sat down and waited - very much in his own world. Client 4 required some coaxing, and constant surveillance in case her mood went sour (during our half hour session she became very emotional and tearful, but could quickly revert to a stable or jovial mood within seconds with the help of her staff. If Client 4 was given something to flip in the air, she began to laugh. Client 2 went through a handful of emotions in the short half hour, all of which were extreme. He was at first impatient to begin, reaching for materials and was having a difficult time being seated. He was very happy to begin the New Assignment.
[Lauren has begun to modify the circle assignment, creating with the clients a more 3 dimensional border, as apposed to the drawn circle she has been working with for some time. In this case we were using Styrofoam peanuts to glue around the drawn circle - followed by painting them.]
I was working closely with Client 2. Together - but mostly with me guiding his hand - we made a circular glue marker, and the client began to glue the peanuts down. We had left a gap in the circle, and it was not until he had very neatly glued all he peanuts he could, that he expressed a need for more glue. Having glued all the peanuts down he was ready to paint. I asked what color paint he would like and he requested green, which I mixed for him. Alex painted only about a quarter of the peanuts, focusing mostly on the bottom of the circle and moving up towards the left side. He painted a bit on the inside of the circle.
Once client 2 was decidedly finished, he could not be prompted to do anymore art - and once again became quite impatient. He requested/demanded to have computer time. He was told by his staff he would not be able to use the computer until 4:20 when art therapy had finished. With this the client became clearly agitated - continually asking to use the computer and screech/howling. It was at this point that Client 2 had the physical outburst that involved hitting himself repeatedly and struggling to calm himself that I have described above. Our session ended when Client 2 was able to compose himself, and smiling he said to his staff "Ready", and they left the room.
Reflecting:
Throughout the session I felt sort of numb to the condition of the children - not unfeeling - but not pitying, not shocked, not bothered. I suppose if anything I was really quite interested. Each personality and set of reactions was so different; as well as each client's way of working - speed, concentration, method and reaction to it.
I wasn't expecting this, but was also not necessarily, not expecting this..
It was not until driving home that I began experiencing any of it. My concentration was not as sharp as it should have been on the highway. I could only feel sorry that these kids were affected in this way... and may have little room for improvement .
I was unable to deal with any extra stimulus - I had to turn off the radio for half the ride. I noticed then that I was actually quite tense. My muscles were scrunched up in my neck and shoulders, and I gripped the steering wheel uncharacteristically tight. Still I was - and am unsure how to express my reaction to the session in words - It was so spread out between numbness, interest, anxiety, sympathy, and excitement. Despite all the action - the kids seemed to love what they were doing
I was hoping that I would learn more about how I was feeling though my drawings - and I did! After creating the drawings below I wrote:
I felt like a radio frequency that was picking up more than one station - between the different songs and static I couldn't tell what was on.
Art-ing about it :0
Images 1-3: Shades of Gray
Images 4-5: Untitled
Monday, December 28, 2009
Day 3 12/23/2009
Today was my second experience working with adolescents - adults who are mentally retarded. Our group took place at a different site, in Islandia NY. The group was comprised of what seems to be several different levels of development or impairments. Upon entering I detected varying levels of intensity circulating around the room. Some of the clients sat calmly together while others walked around, loudly talking to themselves; yet still some sat alone completely silent. When I entered most of the clients noticed me and took me in with their eyes - some expressed no emotion, others were open to introductions or even approached to ask my name or show me something, and some showed signs of anxiety due to my presence and avoided me.
The task, or thought to run with as the group began their creations, was centered around the themes of Christmas wishes. Being the last time we would meet with this group until christmas and the break had passed, an exception was made that group members could create work to take home and give as gifts. Normally the clients do not take home their artwork. It is kept by the art therapist Lauren, and documented. The clients were offered two choices, painting or drawing.
I had a difficult time deciphering what some o the verbal clients were saying. A female client in-particular was quite the talker, and asked many questions, most of which I could not understand. Faced with this, I once again found m teacher voice coming out - I noticed however that it was less present with another client who appears to be at a higher level of functioning and development than the rest of the consumers. A reminder that I must be more aware of my tone and body language.
I became nervous when I was interacting with a male client whose age I am unsure of but would estimate between 20 and 30 years old. I was not nervous in the sense of being in danger, but that he may go into an emotional tantrum. The client wanted to draw a bear - He showed me a picture of a bear that hung on the wall indicating he wanted to draw this particular bear. He offered the pencil to me asking me to draw it for him. Lauren who was watching, chimed in "She is not going to draw it for you. She can draw it on a separate paper but she won't draw it for you". And so I knew not to draw it for him.
I drew a rendition of the bear he pointed out - and then a second one. When the client approved the second drawing, he took it under his own paper and began to trace it. He quickly became frustrated that he was not able to produce exactly what I had drawn and asked several times for me to draw it. I repeated several times that I would not draw it for him, offered him encouragement as a mean of confidence boosters and motivator. However this lead him to becoming increasingly frustrated - tearing up and looking imploringly at me. Once again I repeated that I would not draw it for him and that I thought he was doing a great job and could continue to do so.
The client did continue to draw the bear, but grudgingly. He was growling (for lack of a better word) under his breath while doing it. When he was unhappy with his drawing he nearly began to cry. With more nudging he continued - and his finished product, a superman bear, was very successful! Lauren explained that the client love superman and the motif appears in many of his drawings.
When the client was first trying to communicate his choice of subject to draw, he was communicating verbally, but coupled it with physical indicators or signs. He began by flicking his ears and following it by point towards the area where the bear hung. Seeing that I did not understand he beckoned me to follow and pointed out the picture. When he had finished his drawing of the bear, he asked for a new sheet of paper. I asked what he would draw and he responded by making a motion with both hands as if he were draping something around his neck. I was able to make out the words "for my mom" and asked if he wanted to make a necklace for his moth - he said yes. and handed me the pencil. With a crayon on a separate sheet of paper I drew a 'pearl necklace', and handed it to the client to trace. He glanced at it and put it down. he began to draw, without my drawing. I was surprised to see the he drew a heart. I later found out that his physical signal was one that was recognized by lauren and other staff members as meaning Heart. A reminder that time will aide in the communication between therapist and consumer.
The session in Islandia had an overall learning experience feeling to it. I felt positive, and calm - communicating unabashedly - I did not feel timid or held back. I will hope to work on communicating, allowing myself to repeat, and ask the same question several time to develop a means of uncovering what the client is trying to express verbally
The task, or thought to run with as the group began their creations, was centered around the themes of Christmas wishes. Being the last time we would meet with this group until christmas and the break had passed, an exception was made that group members could create work to take home and give as gifts. Normally the clients do not take home their artwork. It is kept by the art therapist Lauren, and documented. The clients were offered two choices, painting or drawing.
I had a difficult time deciphering what some o the verbal clients were saying. A female client in-particular was quite the talker, and asked many questions, most of which I could not understand. Faced with this, I once again found m teacher voice coming out - I noticed however that it was less present with another client who appears to be at a higher level of functioning and development than the rest of the consumers. A reminder that I must be more aware of my tone and body language.
I became nervous when I was interacting with a male client whose age I am unsure of but would estimate between 20 and 30 years old. I was not nervous in the sense of being in danger, but that he may go into an emotional tantrum. The client wanted to draw a bear - He showed me a picture of a bear that hung on the wall indicating he wanted to draw this particular bear. He offered the pencil to me asking me to draw it for him. Lauren who was watching, chimed in "She is not going to draw it for you. She can draw it on a separate paper but she won't draw it for you". And so I knew not to draw it for him.
I drew a rendition of the bear he pointed out - and then a second one. When the client approved the second drawing, he took it under his own paper and began to trace it. He quickly became frustrated that he was not able to produce exactly what I had drawn and asked several times for me to draw it. I repeated several times that I would not draw it for him, offered him encouragement as a mean of confidence boosters and motivator. However this lead him to becoming increasingly frustrated - tearing up and looking imploringly at me. Once again I repeated that I would not draw it for him and that I thought he was doing a great job and could continue to do so.
The client did continue to draw the bear, but grudgingly. He was growling (for lack of a better word) under his breath while doing it. When he was unhappy with his drawing he nearly began to cry. With more nudging he continued - and his finished product, a superman bear, was very successful! Lauren explained that the client love superman and the motif appears in many of his drawings.
When the client was first trying to communicate his choice of subject to draw, he was communicating verbally, but coupled it with physical indicators or signs. He began by flicking his ears and following it by point towards the area where the bear hung. Seeing that I did not understand he beckoned me to follow and pointed out the picture. When he had finished his drawing of the bear, he asked for a new sheet of paper. I asked what he would draw and he responded by making a motion with both hands as if he were draping something around his neck. I was able to make out the words "for my mom" and asked if he wanted to make a necklace for his moth - he said yes. and handed me the pencil. With a crayon on a separate sheet of paper I drew a 'pearl necklace', and handed it to the client to trace. He glanced at it and put it down. he began to draw, without my drawing. I was surprised to see the he drew a heart. I later found out that his physical signal was one that was recognized by lauren and other staff members as meaning Heart. A reminder that time will aide in the communication between therapist and consumer.
The session in Islandia had an overall learning experience feeling to it. I felt positive, and calm - communicating unabashedly - I did not feel timid or held back. I will hope to work on communicating, allowing myself to repeat, and ask the same question several time to develop a means of uncovering what the client is trying to express verbally
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