I was warned that I would possibly see and experience things I had never before. While I think my limited background knowledge of autism, and some brief but important information that Lauren relayed to me regarding the children I would meet, did a great deal to prepare me for what I would experience on Wednesday 12/23/2009
Lauren explained that some sessions run quite smoothly, without major outbursts, and others are more chaotic, like the session we had that afternoon. We had a group of four, and for confidentiality purposes I will refer to them as Client 1, Client 2, etc. Each had a different energy and mood - and for the most part each client's individual personality affected their peer's. For example, male Client 2 affected female Client 4 adversely. Client 2 was highly energetic, and emitted and extremely loud noise, that I can describe only as falling between a Screech and a howl. He uses this sound to communicate his emotional state, and it varies in tone, volume and speed depending on whether it is happy, sad, mad confused, etc. Client 4 is a mostly non-verbal child. She communicates with a few key words combined with high-pitched sing-song gibberish. When Client 2 became agitated, and reacted in the extreme [this particular client hits himself, as well as others if they are in his range], hitting himself and screech/howling quite loudly, Client 4 became upset, and began crying, interrupted only by a high-pitch hum. Client 4 had to be removed by her one-on-one staff to avoid an outburst from her as well. Client 2 was instructed to calm down, and had to gain control of himself - this was clearly a struggle for the client. I watched, as he tried to take part n deep breathing, and tried to smile and laugh. Client 2 tried to put his hand down on the table, and tried to keep them there. This went on for about 3 minutes until he was able to regain control of himself.
Client 1 was happy to begin art therapy, and seemed to be quite accustomed to the routine. Client 3, quietly sat down and waited - very much in his own world. Client 4 required some coaxing, and constant surveillance in case her mood went sour (during our half hour session she became very emotional and tearful, but could quickly revert to a stable or jovial mood within seconds with the help of her staff. If Client 4 was given something to flip in the air, she began to laugh. Client 2 went through a handful of emotions in the short half hour, all of which were extreme. He was at first impatient to begin, reaching for materials and was having a difficult time being seated. He was very happy to begin the New Assignment.
[Lauren has begun to modify the circle assignment, creating with the clients a more 3 dimensional border, as apposed to the drawn circle she has been working with for some time. In this case we were using Styrofoam peanuts to glue around the drawn circle - followed by painting them.]
I was working closely with Client 2. Together - but mostly with me guiding his hand - we made a circular glue marker, and the client began to glue the peanuts down. We had left a gap in the circle, and it was not until he had very neatly glued all he peanuts he could, that he expressed a need for more glue. Having glued all the peanuts down he was ready to paint. I asked what color paint he would like and he requested green, which I mixed for him. Alex painted only about a quarter of the peanuts, focusing mostly on the bottom of the circle and moving up towards the left side. He painted a bit on the inside of the circle.
Once client 2 was decidedly finished, he could not be prompted to do anymore art - and once again became quite impatient. He requested/demanded to have computer time. He was told by his staff he would not be able to use the computer until 4:20 when art therapy had finished. With this the client became clearly agitated - continually asking to use the computer and screech/howling. It was at this point that Client 2 had the physical outburst that involved hitting himself repeatedly and struggling to calm himself that I have described above. Our session ended when Client 2 was able to compose himself, and smiling he said to his staff "Ready", and they left the room.
Reflecting:
Throughout the session I felt sort of numb to the condition of the children - not unfeeling - but not pitying, not shocked, not bothered. I suppose if anything I was really quite interested. Each personality and set of reactions was so different; as well as each client's way of working - speed, concentration, method and reaction to it.
I wasn't expecting this, but was also not necessarily, not expecting this..
It was not until driving home that I began experiencing any of it. My concentration was not as sharp as it should have been on the highway. I could only feel sorry that these kids were affected in this way... and may have little room for improvement .
I was unable to deal with any extra stimulus - I had to turn off the radio for half the ride. I noticed then that I was actually quite tense. My muscles were scrunched up in my neck and shoulders, and I gripped the steering wheel uncharacteristically tight. Still I was - and am unsure how to express my reaction to the session in words - It was so spread out between numbness, interest, anxiety, sympathy, and excitement. Despite all the action - the kids seemed to love what they were doing
I was hoping that I would learn more about how I was feeling though my drawings - and I did! After creating the drawings below I wrote:
I felt like a radio frequency that was picking up more than one station - between the different songs and static I couldn't tell what was on.
Art-ing about it :0
Images 1-3: Shades of Gray
Images 4-5: Untitled
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