Last Week | 1/19/10

I have spent the past week preparing myself and the clients for my departure. I am feeling a great loss at the completion of my times at FREE. What will be hardest is not helping others - not helping the clients I have gotten to know. When I told the Kids I was leaving, my heart broke a little when one client asked why, and when I was coming back. It was very moving especially considering the widely accepted notion that children with autism do not form emotional attachments.

I had an equally difficult time telling the Fancy Free group of mentally impaired adults. Being the most communicative group of all three core groups they were able to tell me directly that they were sad at my departure. Some clients expressed anger, others were strictly sad, still some seemed unaffected, but showed emotional loss in their artwork during this session

Despite telling the clients I would soon be leaving and that this was my last week, they were very upset today, making quite a hard day - very emotional. The clients are aware of my leaving and are upset about it. They feel like I am deserting them - those were the words of a client who has only been in one week of sessions with me! Another client was very downcast and emotional. She seemed incapable of moving past it - though I am not entirely sure it is related to my leaving.

I am feeling guilty about leaving - selfish to come into all these groups of people's lives when I can, and leave when I have to.

I am anxious to discuss how to handle the last day with each group on a professional level, keeping the client's feelings in mind and not my own. I will discuss this during supervision tomorrow.